Secret to a long, healthy life???

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”

“I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six,” he said.

Elephant Stew Recipe

I’m not sure of the original source for this recipe, but I didn’t create it, so don’t blame me if you don’t like it 😉


1. Cut one elephant into small bite-size pieces. This should take about 2 months.

2. Add enough gravy to cover.

3. Season to taste.

4. Cook for about 4 weeks at 465 degrees.

This will serve 3,800 people. If more are expected, 2 rabbits may be added.

Do this only if absolutely necessary since most people do not like to find hare in their stew!  (hee, hee!)